The real story

aka. A Very Short Story About Vanquishing Flying Squirrels

This morning, Cake was in the bathroom getting ready to have a shower...when, suddenly, the shower curtain moved.

Cake stopped what Cake was doing and looked at it.

It moved a little more."Good god," Cake thought to herself, "how goddamn big would a raccoon or Bear have to be to move the curtain!?" Cake pulled the shower curtain back, a little nervously, and saw both her flying squirrels sitting in the middle of the bathtub, bolt upright, staring at her.

Cake stared back. They had a staring contest.

And then Cake leaned slowly over, without blinking, and started the hot water. While they kept staring at her....And then the water reached their delicate paws and they bailed out of the tub in a huge flurry of screeching and fur and "OhMyGodWe'reGonnaDie!" noises.

And that's how Cake vanquished the flying squirrels.