I almost stepped in dog poo

This morning.

And nobody cares.

Telling someone that you ALMOST stepped in dog poo is worse than telling someone about a dream you had.

Almost stepped in dog poo stories are the all time worst stories. Why? BECAUSE NOTHING HAPPENS. You DIDN'T STEP IN DOG POO!!! And neither did most people that day.

Don't tell me about it. Nothing happened. And I certainly don't want to hear a story with the punchline of nothing happening. So go crap up your shoe and tell me about it....I'll be all severed ears. But if you avoid said accident maybe you can go write it in your diary. Though even Dear Diary doesn't care.

(I once dreamed about almost stepping in dog poo....I almost stepped into a vat of pudding after said vat sprouted wings. Or something. Thank god I caught my balance, huh?)


oh and thanks to this person and that person